Hands Off
by drunkonribena
Summary: Reader insert! Reader x Denmark (humour, could be romance as you do touch his vital regions!) You wake up to find your favourite novel gone and there's only one nation stupid enough to touch your most prized possession... Includes Finland, Sweden, Norway and Iceland! Human and nation names used (Denmark Mathias, Finland Tino, Sweden Berwald, Norway Lukas, Iceland Emil)


**[Name], [favourite colour], [eye colour], [favourite novel]**

**Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.**

**You belong to yourself (or whoever you sold your soul to).**

"MATHIAS!" a mighty roar emanated from the hall startling the countries as five heads shot up, completely in unison. This was followed by the last door on the left violently flying open, almost off its hinges, and Emil swore he heard a growl come from inside. Anyone would've expected some sort of beastly lion to step out from the doorway or maybe a fire breathing dragon even, but instead it was something deadlier than either of those two; something far more frightening...

It was [Name].

You shuffled awkwardly out onto the dark wood floor of the hall, gripping your [favourite colour] night gown to your figure as the cold air made you shiver slightly.

"Oh! Um, good morning, [Name]," Tino called from the kitchen, staying his usual cheery self, despite feeling a slight bit nervous at your morning person, "did you want breakfast?"

Rather out of character, you ignored the Finnish male completely and instead stomped over to where a certain spiky-haired character lay sprawled out on the sofa, next to Lukas who'd seemingly already lost interest in the situation and instead returned to his conversation with some unseen being.

"Where... is it...?" you sleepily grumbled, resisting the urge to smack the Dane as he grinned widely and replied.

"Ooh, it looks like someone woke up on the cranky side of the bed today, eh [Name]?"  
He laughed loudly, but ceased promptly as you leant down so his bright blue eyes were level with your own [eye colour] ones.

"Give. It. Back."

"Denm'rk, wh't did y'u t'ke?" Sweden spoke up from the armchair on the left, not taking his eyes off the newspaper held out in front of him.

"What do you mean? I didn't take anything!"

"You took my novel!"

This innocence act of his wasn't fooling you (or anyone else, actually). You had woken up to find your copy of [favourite novel] missing from the dressing table beside your bed and you knew only one nation in this house would be stupid enough to even contemplate touching it.

"Oh!" chuckling to himself, he leant forward and would've head-butted you if you hadn't taken a step back. Then, slowly and deliberately, he retrieved something from behind his back, "Could you mean... this novel?"

A sudden burst of energy overtook your barely awake form and you lunged for the book. The man, however, was too quick and briskly leaped to his feet, leaving you to viciously attack the sofa.

"Aw okay [Name], here, you can have it..."

You turned and growled at him, holding your hand out expectantly.

"...IF YOU CAN CATCH ME!"

"DANE!"

And with that the two of you took off down the hall and downstairs, leaving the other four Nordics speechless.

_~20 minutes later~_

Emil finished his breakfast first and made his way to the kitchen to get Mr Puffin some more fish before sighing heavily as yet another loud CRASH followed by a long string of curse words echoed up from downstairs. He wondered whether you hadn't caught Denmark yet and you were both still running amuck, or you had and you were simply beating the living daylights out of him for taking your most prized possession.

His question was soon answered as what sounded like a herd of elephants came storming up the stairs and Denmark appeared on the landing. He laughed and rushed back into the living room, still clutching the book to his chest. Only moments later you came barrelling in, tripping slightly over your own nightgown.

"Oh Mathias, why won't you just give [Name] back her book?"

"No way, Tino, this is way too fun!"

He ran to the other side of the table where the others were sat eating and stuck his tongue out. By now, you were feeling rather out of breath and all you wanted to do was return to bed and curl up with your favourite book, but of course you couldn't until you caught the stupid Dane.

It was clear where this was going: you moved to the left, so did he; you went to the right, he did the same. Your legs truly ached and really didn't want to have to start chasing him around the table, so you hatched a plan.

"Look! Mat! Emil's nicking your beer!"

"What?"

"WHAT?"

Denmark fast turned his attention to the bewildered teen and you made your move. You quickly hopped up onto Iceland's vacant chair and, making sure not to step on anyone's food, leapt onto the table and made a desperate grab for the book.

Feeling your fingertips lightly graze the smooth hard cover – so tantalisingly close – you just couldn't snatch it from his grasp and so, before you lost your balance, you jumped to the ground in front of him.

"[Name]!"

"HAND IT OVER!"

Tino stood up, shocked by your bold move, meanwhile Lukas and Berwald simply looked on, all of a sudden rather uninterested in their breakfasts. Mathias on the other hand was laughing harder than ever as he slowly stepped backwards.

"Haha! That was a sweet move, [Name]!"

"I said "hand it over"!"

"You'll have to reach it." He mocked, holding it high above his head, almost touching the ceiling and grinned down at you.

You tried stretching in vain, but even on your tiptoes you got nowhere and you thought of standing on Ice's chair again, but you doubted you could reach that high even then. You crossed your arms and huffed, thoroughly fed up of this game.

But, just then, another idea materialised in your brain, this one far better than the last, and you had to fight the evil smile that threatened to show. Why didn't you think of this sooner?

"Aw, finally giving up, eh, [Name]?"

"Mathias, stop being so mean! Look, both your breakfasts have gone cold now."

"Haha! Come on, Tino, we're just playing! And anyway, you all know that I'm the oldest and I think that [Name] needs to learn a little respect for her eld-ACK!"

"Oh my!"

"Ouch."

"..."

"HA!"

In seconds Denmark's legs gave way and he crumpled to his knees.

One hand still held the book above his head;

the other clutched his vital regions.

"Nggggghhh..."

Lowering your knee, you finally let the grin you tried so hard to hold back spread across your features.

"It's alright, Tino, I'm not hungry."

You plucked the book from Mathias' still outstretched hand (which now resided just a foot above your head), before returning to your room and softly closing the door.

**I'm scared it's boring, but I do really hope you enjoy it!**

**I had the idea and it was only supposed to be a drabble (well, only 900-odd words off, haha). Also, I tried adapting my writing style to not describe in too much detail or ramble, but I'm really not completely happy with it.**

**Please if you want to review and comment, offer advice or impersonate a farmyard animal if you really want to (I do not mind!)**


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